How does IVF feel?

This is a heartfelt description of an IVF cycle which is destined to fail.

Christiane writes about her experience of waiting to hear the outcome of her most recent embryo transfer, and learning that she has a negative pregnancy result.

For those who haven’t had to struggle to fall pregnant , the reaction of those in fertility treatment can seem excessive, but the truth is, each month can feel like an enormous loss.

“Dear little embryo, it’s been two days since I found out you’re not with me anymore. I watch myself from above as I sit in the car waiting for the phone call, my heart pounding. The news was delivered by a nervously sympathetic nurse. A wave of tragic déjà vu crashed. Not again.

You left before I had a chance to feel you, for you to grow. I feel a fool; I swore I was pregnant. I don’t know how long you stayed, or if you left as quickly as you were unceremoniously placed inside me. Hope has flown away and left me with a concrete heart.”